What to do When Your Child Has a Learning Disability

Being a parent is very difficult. Parents are totally responsible for the safety, welfare, and education of a tiny infant who quickly becomes a growing, ever-changing, maturing child. Parents have to set their own rules, develop their own routines, and form their own expectations. When parents are married, differences of opinions have to be worked out with the greater good of the child held aloft. If it is difficult to be a parent, it is even more difficult to be a parent of a child with special needs.

School work can be difficult, but it should not be torture for you or your kid. If your kid is struggling academically, maybe it is time to consider your kid is not just being difficult. Maybe there is something more going on than meets the eye. After all, who wants to do badly in school?

Discovering a child’s special needs is often a confusing and painful process for parents. First of all, because learning difficulties can be subtle, multiple, and difficult to pinpoint, it can be hard for parents to know whether things are normal or not. Especially with a first child, parents may not know when to expect vocalizing, playing with sounds, and learning to speak. It is also difficult to distinguish between a healthy, very active toddler and a hyperactive toddler with ADHD. What is the difference between the child who is a little clumsy (which will be outgrown) and a child having significant motor skills problem? What are the indications of children being off course in their ability to listen and follow directions? It may take some time for parents to recognize and articulate concerns.

How to Know If Your Child Has Learning Disabilities

Many children have difficulty with reading, writing, or other learning-related tasks at some point, but this does not mean they have learning disabilities. A child with a learning disability often has several related signs that persist over time. The signs of learning disabilities vary from person to person. Common signs that a person may have learning disabilities include the following:

• Poor coordination
• Difficulty with concepts related to time
• Difficulty with reading and/or writing
• Problems with math skills
• Difficulty remembering things learned
• Trouble following directions
• Problem staying organized

A child with a learning disability may also exhibit one or more of the following signs:

• Impetuous behavior
• Inappropriate responses in school or social situations
• Difficulty staying on task (easily distracted)
• Difficulty finding the right way to say something
• Inconsistent school performance
• An immature way of speaking
• Difficulty listening well
• Problems dealing with new things in life
• Problem understanding words or concepts

These signs alone are not enough to determine that a person has a learning disability. A professional assessment is necessary to diagnose a learning disability. Children being taught in a second language that they are learning sometimes act in ways that are similar to the behaviors of someone with a learning disability. For this reason, learning disability assessment must take in to account whether a student is bilingual or a second language learner.

How to Help Your Child Who has Learning Disabilities

This is hard, it is difficult for parents, but if you find a way to walk with your child through it, you will discover that it is not all that bad. Being different does not mean your child is inferior or anything, if anything; this could even be a good thing. Whatever the case may be, one thing is for certain, your child needs your support.

Here are a few ways to help:

1. Acceptance

Sometimes, even after diagnosis, some parents often face a whole gamut of emotions before they can grapple effectively with the stark truth that their child has learning disabilities. Parents may move through emotions like initially denying there is a problem and rationalizing why it is not a problem, then having to deal with the fear, the anger, and the guilt of having a child who experiences many difficulties. It is normal for parents to want to blame somebody, anybody and to bargain in the sense of thinking that changing neighborhoods, schools, or doctors might make the problems go away. Grieving for what might have been, and finally, parents can come to accept the child’s strengths and weaknesses and try to figure out a helpful plan of action. It is ok to want to blame somebody, but the best thing you can do for your child, is to come to terms with his situation, you have to accept the fact that your child has a problem (learning disability) and do everything within your powers to make sure you provide him with the help he needs to get through it.

2. Focus on the Child’s Strengths, and Not his Weaknesses

Every child is unique; this is something you should not miss as a parent. Just because your child is having difficulties with certain things, doesn’t mean he is bad at all other things. You need to know what his strengths and weaknesses are and help him work it out. Try not to expect more than the child is capable of doing, but expect the best that he can produce, with and without assistance. Recognize his strengths and help him work on his weaknesses, this may mean that he will need to be taught simple skills, and that complex tasks will need to be taught step by step. Provide the initial assistance and then gradually reduce the supports as the child makes progress.

3. Maintain Consistent Discipline

Give clear, simple explanations, particularly if the child has language problems. He may not understand the vocabulary, lengthy instructions, and complex sentences used at home or in school. Your guideline should be firmness with warmth, together with consistency. Keep this up and maintain a steady pace of progress until you are sure he has a good grab of what you are helping him do, then give him tasks to accomplish on his own. First simple small tasks, then later, more complex and challenging tasks.

4. Foster Intellectual Curiosity

Many infants and toddlers seem to be naturally curious as they look at objects, explore them, turn them, try to move them, etc. By watching their eyes and hand movements, long before they can talk, children seem to be asking, what is this? What can I do with this? How does it taste? Can I push it, roll it, bang it? As they sit in a high chair banging with a spoon, they become aware of the sound of metal against metal, or metal against wood.

Some researchers in the field have found that children with learning disabilities are inactive learners. While the bases for this inactivity are not clear, adults can develop a spirit of inquiry by guiding the child’s listening and looking, by showing excitement and wonder about even simple events in the world. One does not have to have fancy toys to excite children. Many children can be content with a pail, a shovel, some sand and water if you guide them to see what can be done with such objects. Through this process, you are stimulating the intellectual curiosity of the child which makes him ask a lot of questions, try a lot of things and eventually learn on their own in their own ways.

5. Empower Your Child

Children with learning disabilities and ADHD often feel powerless and inadequate.  They tend to be passive learners and need to be totally involved in activities to make them active learners. Parents can encourage hands-on activities, such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, and running errands to show children that they can make things happen. These learning activities have the additional benefit of resulting in tangible, visible products appreciated by the whole family. Parents must beware of doing too much for children with learning disabilities because that does not empower them. The effects of active engagement are in fact neurological. Parents can also empower their children to view obstacles as challenges and to know that they have a lot going for them and a team behind them. It helps children with learning disabilities when parents can adopt a problem-solving mode rather than always providing the answers.

6. Identify How Your Child Learns Best

Everyone, learning disability or not, has their own unique learning style. Some people learn best by seeing or reading, others by listening, and some others by doing. You can help a child with a learning disability by identifying his or her primary learning style. Parents sometimes make the mistake of investing all of their time and energy into the school as a primary solution for their child’s learning disability. It is better to recognize that the school situation for your kid will probably never be perfect. Try to recognize that the school will be only one part of the solution for your child and leave some of the stress behind. Your attitude of support, encouragement, and optimism will have the most lasting impact on your child. So you need to know how to help your child. Is your child a visual learner, an auditory learner, or a kinesthetic learner? Once you have figured out how he learns best, you can take steps to make sure that type of learning is reinforced in the classroom and during home study.

Conclusion

Children with special needs often have special gifts, gifts such as sensitivity, perseverance, tenacity, and resilience. When things do not seem to go as well as expected, it is often helpful to contact teachers, physicians, and other specialists for suggestions. It will also be helpful if you can talk to other parents who have children with similar problems. You need all the help you can get, but all your child need is you.