What To Do When Your Kid Hates Getting a Haircut

Are you always at war with your kid when it comes to getting him a haircut? Does it seem like he has tender nerve endings on each strand of hair when you comb or cut it? Does he act like you always cut his skin when you are merely trimming his nails? Or like you are drawing blood when you are only getting day’s dirt out of his toe nails? Well, you are not the only one parenting a sensitive child. There is something about haircuts and grooming which can trigger anxiety and resistance in some children, followed by frustration and exasperation in their parents. It is especially hard to understand when, as an adult, you may love your time at the hair dresser or think manicures are a total treat. Pampering, who doesn’t like that? Probably your child.

So, what is going on? Why doesn’t it work to say, “You are fine, this does not hurt. I am being as gentle as I can be. We have done this a million times!” Although totally understandable, this response just heightens the frustration on both sides. On one hand, you know your child needs compassion and understanding. On the other, the whole process can exhaust both of you.

Why Does Your Child React the Way he Does?

Your child doesn’t need to have a sensory processing disorder to dislike haircuts. Ninety percent of boys will experience the ‘haircut freak out’ and it can be due to a number of reasons. The environment in which the haircut is taking place can play a big part. Is it noisy? Is it new? Is it the smell? In a perfect world, wearing the cape will eliminate the itchy sensation of hair falling on him, if he sits still, it will be over so much quicker, and if he needs the clippers, it is a safer and quicker way to cut. However, the cape is foreign, watching scissors being waved around his head in the mirrors is scary and the clippers sound like a mac truck in his ears.

A major challenge for many children is that for most grooming activities, they need to sit still. As if that is not bad enough, if they don’t sit still, they actually could get an injury. Have you ever said, “If you don’t sit still I might hurt you?” Now your child is thinking: I must sit still. I might get hurt. This potentially nice little quiet time is now filled with a screaming squirming child, and it is taking ten times as long to finish. Not a good beginning. Haircuts, in particular, bring a host of challenges for your child. A salon in itself carries a plethora of new noises and smells. Sensitive ears and noises can be so overwhelmed. The strong distinctive smells may not only be offensive to your child’s nose but could also trigger a headache or nausea. And don’t forget the noises, from loud hair driers to the buzzing of razors to the snipping of scissors. Maybe this is nothing to you, but it could mean shear agony, no fun intended for your child.

How You Can Help

You can make this easy, you don’t always have to have a fight over this issue, you can help you kid to not just accept to go through with getting a haircut, but you can also make him enjoy it, it could be fun for him too. Here are a few ways you can help:

1. Choose a Child-Friendly Salon

Try finding a salon that has a quieter time slot without the onlooking judgmental stares. Generally, avoiding big shopping centers helps. Some salons also have special seats just for kids, DVD players or even a gated play area so that the other kids can be kept occupied so you can focus on the one getting his hair cut. Taking along a towel or painting smock from home that is familiar to your child and wrapping him in this instead of the cape cannot only help calm him but will also keep the hair off him. Avoid very short haircuts if your son doesn’t like the clippers. Try sticking to the scissors for the first few haircuts to start with, and face them always away from the mirror.

2. Distraction and Positive Reinforcement

An iPad or a portable DVD player may distract him enough to sit still and ignore what is happening around him, although you may need to move the screed around so that the hairdresser can get to all of his hair. A reward for getting through the haircut can be a great motivator too. It doesn’t have to be big, a sticker to stick on their shirt or a favorite candy is often enough.

3. Offer Options

Name the sensitivity for your child. Give him words to identify his feelings, and let him know you notice and acknowledge the sensitivity. And not only do you notice, but you want to help him find ways to deal with the sensitivities. If he is older, you may ask him for ideas and then offer a solution or two to mitigate any pain or discomfort. For example, “I know the sound of the clippers bothers you, so would you like to use headphones or earplugs to help muffle the sound?” or perhaps, “I can see that cape is not comfortable for you, so which shirt do you want to wear instead?” this is a great opportunity to guide your child toward recognizing their sensitivities, decreasing frustration and generally empowering them. And who knows? Maybe your child may even come to enjoy grooming!

4. Use a Mobile Hairdresser

Alternatively, a mobile hairdresser is a great way to go until you have all of these fears under wraps. Being in a familiar environment can make a big difference and can lower your stress levels too. Bottom line, your child might just not like haircuts and the younger they are, the more likely this will be the case. They don’t understand and it is just downright inconvenient to a young kid to sit still. Taking all of these things into consideration should help on the journey to a stress-free hairdressing experience. Whatever the case, there will be moments where the hairdressing process is not so bad and you can relax.

5. Let Your Child Be the Barber

Giving your kid some control over the situation, for example, allowing him to pick out his own hairstyle can make him feel comfortable enough to surrender to the stylist. Kids love it when they think that they are in control, so give him some powers to have a say in the whole thing and you might find yourself walking out of the salon with your kid with an amazing haircut, without so much as an argument.

6. Try Haircuts At Home

If you don’t know how to cut hair, then maybe it is time you learned how to. And you can do this when your child is young when he can’t really tell the difference between a good and bad haircut, so it gives you time to practice. Kids can’t sit still for long, so try using a timer; tell your child that when the timer goes off you will stop. It will give him the feeling that the length of time is not “forever” and give him a sense of control.

Bottom line is it is unrealistic to think your child will be able to sit still for the duration of the haircut, but with a little thought and preparation, you will both skate through just fine. This is why it is not just about having the skills to cut hair; it is about being able to do it fast on a moving target. It is about having the patience and empathy to understand that your child is under duress and by not becoming stressed himself, it is easier on him. Stop and take a break as often as you need to during the cut.

Conclusion

Finally, you know that while the majority of us love going to the salon to get our hair styled and trimmed, there are some people who absolutely detest the idea of getting a haircut. Children, in particular, are known to develop an anxiety or phobia about getting their hair trimmed as you have seen above and there are several reasons responsible for that. That being said, it is important to help your child overcome it as early as possible, otherwise, the phobia could continue well into adulthood impacting one’s confidence, self-esteem as well as appearance.