Abdourahman

So your child is different. He likes sci-fi and fantasy, he is smart and a little quirky, he is a little weird and loves math, he can’t identify with most of the kids in school, and now is he a nerd? He most likely is. This is not a bad thing, it doesn’t mean the other kids are better than your child in any way, in fact, he is probably better than them in all in the subjects in school especially math, physics, and chemistry. The downside, however, is that he is likely to be bullied and not have many friends. Most of them are ok without the friends but the bullying could be a real trouble for them. Sometimes, to fit in, they try to be like other kids though naturally, they are different. Kids are extremely susceptible to peer pressure at early ages, especially if they are trying to fit into a certain group. As a parent, it is your job to make sure that your child understands that he does not need to conform to a certain group of people in order to be accepted. You can introduce him to other like-minded kids who share the same passions as him. If he loves to read and write, you can help him find a writing group or book club, if he loves to draw, paint, or do the math, then you can sign him up for art lessons or get him a math teacher. Every child has a different personality, some are extroverts who love to interact with other people, and some children are introverts who are more closeted. There is nothing wrong with either, but if your child is more of an introvert, you should try talking to him about his interests as well. You might even find out you have a common interest, and it could end up being the key to helping him accept his seemingly weird interests are perfectly fine. It will in a way give him the confidence to stand up to his bullies. If he loves video games, comics, and certain TV shows, there are plenty of ways the two of you can bond over that. Having a family movie or TV nights will let him know that you support his interests. Buying him tickets to a convention as a Christmas or birthday present will give him the chance to interact with other fans who are interested in the same things as him. There is Nothing Wrong With Being a Nerd At some point, every parent is worried about his or her nerd child. This is normal and fine, being different could be frustrating for you the parent as well as the child. Because your child is different and likes to keep to himself, he will be picked on by other kids, some will make fun of him because of the seemingly weird and awkward things he is interested in. other kids will call him names like nerd, weirdo, four eyes, that [...]

Do you have a child who is old enough to start talking but he is not talking yet? Are you worried that something maybe wrong with him? Well, you are right to worry, however, don’t jump to any conclusions just yet. It could be frustrating for parents when their kids are eighteen months and above and yet utter no words. There could be many reasons responsible for this. Sometimes the child is not interested or has no need to talk just yet, it could be delayed speech, and sometimes even though you child cannot speak, he has his own way to communicate the things he wants to say or do. It could be pointing at things when he needs them, shaking his head etc. In most cases though, babies who are late talkers end up speaking just fine within the coming years. If your baby is not talking yet, however, there are some simple things you can do at home to encourage him. It is perfectly ok and appropriate to be concerned as a parent because at this stage, it is clear that your child is behind the curve from a developmental perspective. Usually, he is expected to start using two-word sentences around the age of two years. Psychologists refer to this as telegraphic speech, and it might include phrases like “Mum, milk” or “Dad, candy”. Kids at this age convey a meaningful sentence in just two or three words, leaving out the articles such as “and”, “or” and so on. There appears to be an increasing number of children who are well behind the norms in relation to speech and language development. In fact, it is becoming so common, according to at least on speech pathologist, that some are calling for new ‘norms’ to be created since later development seems to be the new norm. Note: While it is true that children need to hear an abundance of words to develop healthy skills, encouraging language is about the quality and quantity of the words we speak. Encouraging you child to talk isn’t about chattering incessantly to him in order to expose him to as many words as possible. Honestly, can you think of anything more off-putting than someone blabbering? Even our adoring babies, the captive audiences they are, will tune out because they are unable to throw something or ask you to stop. The great new is that both come naturally when we perceive babies as whole people able communicators ready to be informed about the happenings in their lives, and in turn share their thoughts and feelings. Comprehend this simple truth, interact, engage, and converse naturally, and we have the language lessons nailed. Why is Your Child Not Speaking Yet? As we said above, there are several reasons responsible for your child not speaking, it could be one or more of these reasons that affect your child’s ability to start communicating. We will look at some of these reasons and how you can work around them to help [...]

Growing up involves a lot of experiments and limits testing. Listening to a little one speak is an extremely enjoyable and amusing experience, not only for the parents but also for everyone around. Yet these happy times can turn into moments of acute embarrassment for parents when their little angel starts uttering bad words. And, after it happens once, parents always feel jittery and unsure the next time their little one starts speaking. Most at times, this is shocking to parents because they are careful of the language they use around their children. You start asking where it all came from, when did your angel become such a naughty boy. As always =, parents are quick to blame themselves for every wrong thing that their kids do. You are not always responsible for certain things as a parent, there are times when it is your fault, yes, but not all the time. Children begin using bad words after they’ve heard others use those words, or after those words have been aimed at them. Grownups use this kind of language when they are upset, and the behavior trickles down to the children, usually with the original emotional heat welded to the words. Because harsh behavior spreads like a bad cold from adult to child and then from child to child, just about every child on the planet is exposed to name-calling, or bad words behavior, sooner or later. As much as you the parent are not to blame all the time, the same goes for the child. It is not your child’s fault that he has acquired harsh language, any more than it is his fault that he gets a runny nose. When you child uses harsh language, he may not understand what the words mean literally. It is the tone that makes an imprint on them, and it si the tone that raises parental warning flags. The electric emotional charge irritates the child’s delicate internal system and makes the words stick like in their little innocent minds. Why Does Your Child Use Bad Language? It is a mystery sometimes where children pick up these forbidden words. A child can swear for a variety of reasons. But not necessarily because he understands the meaning of the words, sometimes it’s just to convey hostility or vent out his anger. The following are some of the reasons your child uses bad language: 1. The Home At the beginning of this article, I said you should not always blame yourself for the wrong things your child does, this is a fact. However, there are times when you have to take the responsibility for some of his wrong actions because you are responsible and it is your fault. In this case, what you need to do is watch the language you use at home especially when the kids are around. Children learn by observing and this starts from the home, so if you always use foul language at home, either with your spouse or on the [...]

At some point, every parent worries about what their children are going to become in the future. For some, the drama starts really early, the dreams are big and wild, and to them, everything is possible because the world is that simple to them. This is common and very healthy; you should encourage your kids to dream big, it is good to have ambitions in life. The phrase “I want to be an actor” is a common one among kids. By the time they are six, eight, ten, their minds are already made up and some of them would be making steps in the school drama team by this time. This is a very important stage for you to help your child decide on what he wants to do. It is true that dreaming big is a good thing, but the dream has to be something your child is capable of accomplishing. Acting requires a lot of qualities, the person has to be talented, this is not to say your child has to be born an actor, no. like leaders, actors are made not born, yet some are more gifted and talented than others. If your kid has a burning passion for acting and is ready to invest his time and energy to turn that dream into a reality, then you have a huge role to play as a parent. The acting industry is tough, rough and very competitive, which means your child is not the only one looking to become an actor, so if he wants it that bad, he will have to earn it. Why Does Your Child Want To Become An Actor? When your child comes up to you and says ‘mum I want to be an actor’ you need to find out why. You need to determine whether this desire was fueled because he was just watching TV and wants to be famous like some of the kids he saw on TV shows. Maybe he thinks it’s a cool life to be rich and famous as his favorite actors. If this is the case, then you need to have a frank talk with him and make him understand that people don’t become actors because they want to be famous or rich, they become actors because it is what they want to do, and what they love to do. However, if his desire to become an actor is fueled by a pure passion for acting, then he stands a chance. Because if it’s for money, he will fail, if it’s for fame, he will fail. Pretty much any reason other than him having a burning passion for what he wants to do, he will fail. This may seem harsh, but to see the acting industry clearly for what it is, you have to be able to separate yourself from the parent role and look at things from an outside perspective. Does He Have What it Takes? It takes a lot to be an actor, going to an [...]

At some point, almost every child wants to stay home and not go to school. This is perfectly ok and natural, but what if your child doesn’t just want to stay for a day or two, what if he totally does not want to go to school ever? What if he hates school completely and doesn’t want to have anything to do with it? This could be frustrating and annoying especially for very young children, they will cry, shout, wail just to get left alone and at home. There are many reasons that could be responsible for this behavior. Like adults, children always have a reason for the things they do or don’t do. It is also something kids use to test the limits when growing up. They are curious as to how much they can get away with, to what extent are they allowed to make their own choices about the things they do or don’t do. It could be frustrating and tiring, and you need to confront in a way that will not make the child rebel against you. You have to find out the reason why and help the child find his way back to school without using force or punishment. Why Does Your Child Hate School? If you are going to win this battle, first you need to figure out why your child hates school in the first place. Something has to be responsible for this behavior or in some cases, someone. Getting to the root course will get you halfway to the solution. This could be hard, especially if your child is shy or if you are not very much connected to your child. However, the following reasons below could be responsible for your child’s behavior. 1. Teaching style and routines Kids hate routines and unfortunately, that’s all schools do, routines. Kids have to follow rules, stay in class for a period of time, the have to stay quite too, silent, listen and repeat after the teacher, write, draw, some kids find this tiring and boring and would therefore prefer to stay home. The fact that many school still rely primarily on teacher-driven lessons, is not compatible with the preferred learning style of many kids. Schools, most of the time, forget that kids have different ways of learning and the best way to bring the best out of each and every single child is by trying to find out how best each child learns and then help them concentrate on that. Some children learn by listening to others by doing so if you subject one to the other they will feel intimidated and uncomfortable and this can lead to the child running away from school. Some children even go to the extent of pretending to be sick, and in some instances, it takes the parents quite some time for them to realize that their little one is playing a game on them. 2. Inhibited and misunderstood Kids can sometimes be very sensitive and this could [...]

Is your child a little ‘rebel’ with big, cute, fluffy, deaf ears? Well, you are not the only one. When growing up children always tend to test the limits. It can be rather frustrating when your kid just doesn’t do his homework. Parents often feel it is their job to get their kids to do well in school, and yes it is good to take an active interest in your child’s homework, it shows him that what he is doing is important. So naturally, you might get anxious about this responsibility as a parent when your child is refusing to do his homework. Because when you feel it is your responsibility to get your kid to achieve, you now need something from him, you need him to do his homework and you need it to be a success. This puts you in a powerless position as a parent because your kid doesn’t have to give you what you want. Homework becomes a battle over control; you kid starts fighting to have more control over the choices in his life, while you feel that your job as a parent is to be in control of things. Your child isn’t deliberately trying to drive you insane (successful though he may be), and his maddening new behavior has more to do with his sense of self than how he feels about you. Seven and eight-year-olds are experiencing an increasing sense of control over their own lives, and they are focusing more than ever before on the outside world and the interesting things going on there, like school, friends, and sports. Their selective rebellion is one way of testing the limits of their growing independence. It is also a method of dealing with new pressures and responsibilities. Kids this age spend most of the school day following instructions. School is more demanding, so they have fewer opportunities to zone out, de-stress, and exercise their own choices. Because they feel safest at home, it’s the place they are likely to assert themselves and take the time they need to chill out. Often, the way they do that is by demanding some kind of independence at home, or refusing to do certain things in this case, homework. Why Is It Important For Your Child To Do His Homework? Homework is important for your child because it improves his thinking, memory and helps him develop positive study skills and habits that will serve him well throughout life. Homework will encourage him to use time wisely and teach him to work independently. Your child will also learn to take responsibility for his work and this will allow him to review and practice what has been covered in class. Homework helps your child learn to use resources, such as libraries, reference materials, and computer web sites to find information. It encourages him to explore subjects more fully than classroom time permits and this will get him ready for the next day’s class. Homework encourages your child to integrate learning [...]

Some kids can be quite tough to deal with; they have so much negative energy that it is really hard to get them in a good mood. A child with an extreme negative temperament most of the time seems to be in a bad mood. Sometimes you have that child who is always complaining constantly about something, always unhappy and never miss the opportunity to display an unpleasant behavior. This is frustrating for parents, though sometimes it is easy for parents and their children to adopt a pattern of consistency in their interactions that is negative. However, it is possible for this kind of behavior to be transformed into a more positive one. It is good to start with a compromise; you as a parent need a strategy to cope with this situation, something that will work for you and your child. You have to help him burn the negative energy out, guide him through and help him transform into a more positive and happy child. Why is Your Child Always Grumpy? Every problem has a root cause. In this case, however, different reasons could be responsible for your child’s moody behavior. Like always, find the root cause is half the solution. We will look at a few reasons that could be responsible for your child’s moody behavior. Here are a few common reasons: 1. Difficult children Mostly when this happens, parents are quick to blame themselves, thinking that they are responsible for this undesirable behavior. They start asking questions like, where did I go wrong? What have I done wrong in raising this child? Have I been mean to him? Did I treat him so bad that he can’t smile anymore? It is good to ask these questions because you could be responsible, but this Is not always the case. Some kids are naturally born with difficult temperaments and personalities, and you the parent are not responsible for their moody or negative behavior whatsoever. These children are harder to raise and they often provoke the worst parenting, it is just the natural result of being impossible to deal with. Despite all this, you as a loving cannot always blame yourself for your child’s negative personality. 2. Attention Seeking Kids love attention, they crave for it and they long for it from their parents the most. When this attention is not given to them, they will try to get it in their own way. This is most common where there are two or more kids, and one feels left out because he believes that his parents give more attention to his siblings that to him. So it becomes a war over who gets the most attention and obviously the one who feels neglected and left out will turn out to be grumpy and moody. This could also happen where parents are always too busy with work and other things that they hardly have time for their kids.  And the disconnection and distance between these parents and their kids grow wider, they [...]

Children are angels, most of the time sweet, generous and adorable. As they grow and start to interact with the people around them and other children, they start to develop habits and new behaviors. Growing up is a process and involves a lot of things sharing being one of them. Some kids don’t like to share. Whether it is sharing toys, food, or the use of the slide, they just don’t like the idea of sharing, because sharing leaves them with a sense of loss or a diminished experience and not with joy. It’s like your child’s playroom is bursting with toys, yet whenever a friend comes over, your child wants whichever neglected toy his pal reaches for. A struggle ensues, and soon the fun and laughter are replaced with tears and tantrums. This doesn’t mean your child is bad or selfish, it’s just that kids sometimes have a problem practicing the culture of sharing, they are more appreciative of the culture of ownership; to them ‘it’s mine’ is the language they understand the most and prefer it to 'let's share'. Children’s authentic generosity shows up in areas that we often don’t notice or don’t approve of. For example, they assume that guests can stay forever and don’t see why they should leave and they see food in every home as their own. They share clothes and beds easily, they love giving gifts, hugs, and love. Children are generous, it’s just that they also like to keep certain personal things and experiences to themselves, just like adults. Why Kids Don’t Share This is a question that has been asked many times. Why do some kids hate to share? Why would they want to keep it all to themselves even when they don’t need it? Why would a child refuse to hand over the steering wheel at the park even though his turn is over? There are a lot of reasons responsible for this, and as stated above, young children to understand the concept of sharing, they just prefer to keep what’s theirs to themselves. Here are a few common reasons: 1. Kids get it they just don’t care Kids understand the concept of sharing very well, they know what it means, and even accept the fact that they should share. But when it comes to doing the actual sharing, they don’t share. This has been proven in research. Children know that it is good to share and that they should share, they even expect other children to share their stuff with them, but whenever it comes to the actual sharing, they find it difficult to practice what they preach. 2. Sharing is not the culture at home It is true that most parents are so concerned about encouraging their children to share, yet they themselves don’t share and the child is seeing this every day. If sharing is so good why is it that mum never shares her iPhone with her friends or her car with the neighbors? You may [...]

Friendship is very important to children; the feeling of being accepted and approved by others is something children cherish a lot. Which is why, parents are always very concerned when their children find it hard to make friends, and this concern is of course justified. When this happens, don’t jump into conclusion, find out what is going on and see how best you can help your kid make friends. Why is Your Child Not Having Friends? Sometimes it is possible that your child is just overreacting, maybe he just had a fight with his best friends and concluded that he no longer has any friends. However, in instances where he genuinely has no friends, then you need to find a way to help him. Find out why he has no friends, you need to know what is responsible for this situation and help him walk through it and start making friends. Some of the reasons that may be responsible for this are: 1. Shy and Unsure Your child may be the shy type, always keeping to himself, unsure of whether the other kids would want to play with him or accept him to join them. This lack of confidence will definitely affect his ability to connect, interact and mingle with other kids. These kinds of kids are always withdrawn and find it difficult to make small talks or start conversations with other kids. 2. New Environment When you move into a new neighborhood, your kids may find it difficult to make new friends. This is not abnormal, so there is no need for you to overreact, it sometimes takes longer than you’d expect for your kids to adjust to the new environment and start making friends. 3. Aggressive and Non-sharing Kids who don’t like to share naturally find it difficult to make friends. Friendship for children means sharing, sharing toys, games, gadgets, electronics, candy, sweets etc. so when your child is aggressive to other kids and doesn’t like to share, the other kids will not like to play with him and that is what friendship means to kids, playing together, sharing and being nice to one another. 4. Loud, Rude and Unfriendly Sometimes your child may not even realize it, but the problem is with him. He may be rude to the other kids, too loud or sometimes unfriendly in ways that he doesn’t consider unfriendly. This could be because he is sometimes forceful in his demands, grabs things from other kids, overreact when another child does something to him even if it’s accidental or maybe he finds it difficult to say nice things to his peers or even smile or show approval for others. 5. No Attention at Home When you don’t give attention to your kids at home, they feel unimportant, uncared for and this might be responsible for them not being able to make friends. This negative perception that the kids develop about themselves, is what makes them feel unworthy and not good enough for the other [...]

School-aged kids threaten to skip town over things like not wanting to do their homework, wanting more screen-time or in hopes of a later bedtime. Other times the threat is said in anger or as a way to manipulate you. Your child knows that it will break your heart if he says he wants to leave. Whatever the reason, laughing it off, getting angry or taking it personally won’t help the situation. Kids run away all the time, most run away experiences are brief and are concluded when the child realizes that hiding at a friend’s or the park is actually boring and sometimes a little bit scary, and maybe the whole leaving home thing was a bit of an over-reaction. Parents watch with gratitude and relief, but also sometimes mixed with anger as their son or daughter sheepishly returns home, shoulders slumped, defeated. Despite the intensity of the emotions you are experiencing as a parent, it is important to keep calm in order to have the necessary energy to take the needed step to figure out why this happened in the first place and come up with a solution that will ensure that it never happens ever again. In cases where your child threatens to run away, stay calm, tell him that you would really miss him and you don’t want him to run away. By doing this, you are making them feel like they do have control and that you are hoping they make the choice to stay with the family. But don’t roll over and give in to his demands. This is not advisable because then every time he wants something he will threaten to leave home if he doesn’t have it. You cannot say things like “I would really miss you if you run away so you can watch TV as much as you want, just don’t run away”. However, you can negotiate terms. To kids, running away is like taking a long, dangerous timeout. They may use it to avoid some difficulty at home or to hide from their parents after doing something wrong. It could be a power struggle because kids will often run instead of taking responsibility for their actions or complying with house rules. Above all, as a parent, remember, what you don’t want to do is to give this new habit, or threat, power. Why Would Your Child Tend To Run Away? This is the lead question you need to answer if you are going to solve this problem in the first place. Sometimes, a child becomes extremely emotional often disproportionately to the actual incident and feels a need to fight or flee. Knowing that the fighting is certain to end badly, fleeing becomes a far better option for him, hence the running away or threatening to run away. Here are different kinds of kids to try to run away from home: 1. The refugee This child has had enough and just wants to be left alone. Sometimes parents are overbearing, [...]