Abdourahman

What most if not all kids do, is play video games. It forms part of their childhood and sometimes says with them even in adulthood. Video games are amazing and kids fall in love with them from the word go. This is perfectly healthy and ok. However, when this love turns into addiction, it becomes a problem. It is important to note that addiction is not entirely defined by the time one spends playing the game, it could one to three hours a day, most of the day during the weekend, or every chance the child has to sneak into his room or the basement to play. Some kids can play video games the whole day if they have the chance to yet they are not addicted, they have the chance to play, they do it, if they don’t, it doesn’t bother them. For other kids though not so much; they become obsessed with the game, and wherever they are, whether it is in class or at the dining table, they are thinking about the game. They will rush every through task, homework, house chores, cleaning their rooms, just to get back to their table, or computer to play. However, your child being addicted to video games doesn’t mean he will not shine in other fields. In fact, your son can be addicted to video games and still be a straight ‘A’ student. The addiction only means that everything else is less enjoyable and less interesting to the child than the game, it doesn’t mean that he is bad at other things. This bad thing though, is that being addicted to video games has the effect of pulling the child away from all other things and activities which are more important and beneficial. How To Know When Your Child is Addicted to Video Games It is interesting to note, though this happens right under your nose as a parent, it doesn’t make it your fault, at least not all the time. Video games addiction happens even though a lot of parents keep a solid schedule for their kids, from school to bedtime, eating, chores, homework, the list goes on, parents have a breakdown of all the activities of the day for their children, yet despite this seemingly tight schedule, their kids get addicted to video games. To spot out addiction, look out for the following. When the child seems always preoccupied, depressed or lonely, this could be a sign of addiction When he sacrifices basic needs to pay video games. For instance, he would stay at home and play a game on a Saturday instead of going to a picnic with the family or would avoid sleep just to play video games. If this is the case, you need to be concerned. Another sign of addiction is when he gets explosive and angry when asked to stop playing. He will also get defensive when he is told that he is playing the game excessively. These are all signs of addiction. [...]

Children learn and discover things while growing up. This process could be very challenging sometimes and different kids react differently to this challenge. Some children are persistent and others just give up and find something else to do. Is this a problem? Maybe, giving up is definitely not a good quality, and should therefore not be encouraged from an early age. Don’t let your child develop this habit because it will haunt him throughout his life and you would have had a part in it, for not helping him when you could and that is now. What Makes Your Child Give up? Children, like adults, learn every day, except adults sometimes know what to expect, while children don’t. This process of experiencing new things every single day could be fun as well as a frustration. Some kids just want the easy way out, and what better way is there than giving up. Some of the reasons that could be responsible for this behavior include the following: 1. Frustration One reason some children give up easily is because they can’t handle it when things don’t go the way they want or expect them to. This doesn’t mean that your child is unrealistic or spoiled; your child might have a learning disability and simply doesn’t know what to do. It could also mean that it never occurred to him to ask you for help when things go wrong. When he keeps on failing repeatedly, getting it wrong all the time on the same task, he might give up.  2. Loss of Interest (Too Hard or Too Easy Tasks) Children need to be interested in the tasks they do to keep on doing them. If the task is too hard for them, they lose interest, if the task is too easy, it becomes boring and they will lose interest. Some children are also just easily bored and lose interest easily, therefore, giving up. So you need to engage them in interesting not too hard or too easy tasks that will challenge them but not frustrate them to the point of giving up or bore them to the point of giving up. Keep it balanced and interesting for the child. 3. Learning Disability Your child might have a learning disability and this can be responsible for him giving up easily. If your child has a learning disability, it doesn’t mean he can’t learn at all. But he will need some help and will need to work extra hard. Because of the difference in the way the brain takes in and processes information, kids learn differently and at different paces. The trick here will be figuring out how your child learns best. You can help your child with the help of a learning specialist or a school psychologist. 3. Lack of Confidence Self-confidence is what keeps us going, children are no exception. If your child is not confident in himself, once the task gets tough he gives up or says things like “I can’t do this” [...]

Doing wrong is an essential part of how kids learn, with parental guidance to do right; they learn the boundaries of acceptable behaviors. To do this, kids will steamroll through good, bad, acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. When your kid steals, you want to make sure he understands why it is wrong to steal, focus on the behavior, not the child. Don’t call him names, scream or yell at him, find out why he did it and tell him how disappointed in him you are, this is more effective than screaming, name calling or harsh punishments. Why Do Kids Steal? Sometimes kids just want what someone else has, and don’t do much thinking before snatching it. Other times it is to impress friends, or perhaps to pay for gifts for friends or family to feel accepted and approved, the list goes on. Here are a few common reasons why pkids steal: 1. Poor Impulse Control To a child, life is simple. He sees something shiny, nice, or potentially delicious and he grabs it. The concept that some things don’t belong to him may set in, but that primal desire to grab them doesn’t fade. Your child is probably not evil, poor impulse control is a developmental stage, kids see something they want, they just take it. They mostly do this without any judgement as to the rightness or wrongness of the action. Instead of guilt, they feel relief that their craving is satisfied. The more impulsive the child, the more likely he is to help himself to things. Children under four have a difficulty distinguishing between “mine” and “yours”. Everything is potentially “mine”. To them, possession means ownership and they don’t know that pocketing a candy at the supermarket is stealing until you tell them so. 2. Angry Kids Angry kids might resort to stealing and there are various reasons that could be responsible for this. A change in the family situation, a good example is divorce. This anger can lead to the child being insensitive to the feelings of others or he may even enjoy hurting others. Lack of connection between you and your child can also be responsible for this behavior, when the child feels disconnected and left out, he finds a way to deal with these issues and this might lead to stealing. 3. Retaliation Kids also steal to get back at someone. When a kid feels victimized by an older sibling or a friend, he might steal from them to get even. Bruce might steal Jane's most priced Barbie Doll, because Jane accidentally broke his remote control toy car. This is very common; it is entirely about getting even with the other person, it is seeking justice in their own way. 4. Jealousy Kids are very jealous. If for example your son feels that you favor his older sister over him, he might steal from her. It is therefore useful to listen attentively to the emotions behind some of the things your kids say and discuss their [...]

Kids are kids and will always be kids no matter the situation. When your kid doesn’t listen to you, yelling and screaming at him will not change anything. You have to find out what is responsible for the behavior and tackle the problem from its roots. In doing this, make sure you listen and to your child and take into consideration his feelings. The Reasons Kids Don’t Listen to Their Parents Ignoring parents is a classic passive power play, and it works. While big, loud and angry power struggles are obvious ways to struggle, passively ignoring parental requests can also erode at the fabric of family life. However, kids will always be kids and what that means is that their behaviors are formed in the most part, based on their interaction with their parents. How their parents react to the wrong and right things they do while growing up is a very powerful factor that influences the behavioral development of the child. So when your kid doesn’t listen to you, the problem is almost always not with them, but with you the parent. Here are a few common reasons why: 1. Attention Seeking Every child craves parental attention. When this attention is not given or scarcely given, the child may resort to his own ways to gain back this attention. When children ignore their parents, they unconsciously know they are the ones holding the reins. This knowledge is unconscious because most small children are simply not making conscious decisions to struggle with their parents. They are just doing what they know how to do, and in this case, it is ignoring the parent to receive attention. 2. Lectures and Sermons Children decide whether to listen or not from the way parents speak to them, and from the tone of their voice. Remember, a child’s attention span is short, so use declarative statements and be clear with what you want your kids to do. If you keep on lecturing your child, he/she will feel that you are forever talking and talking without listening. It works best to not lecture or preach, instead take their view too. 3. Bad Role Models You cannot preach what you do not practice. If you don’t listen to what others try to tell you, or basically do the things that you are asking your child to do, you cannot expect them to listen to you. Children learn more by observing than instructions and always look up to parents as role models. If kids notice that parents don’t follow the very rules they are setting they will lose faith and will not listen. Parents undergo a lot of stress not only due to kids but also due to other pressures form society and relatives regarding handling their children. As parents, it’s of utmost importance to be a good role model to your kids. Strive to be a good listener so if they notice you listen, they will do the same. If they see that you don’t listen [...]

Usually, when the issue of bullying comes up, people are almost always more focused on the victim and not the perpetrator. The idea that it is the parents of the victim, who should find out why their child is been bullied and find help for him/her, is unfair. Bullying is a problem and to solve it we need to find out why the perpetrators do what he/she does (bullying), and find a way to make them stop. Why Do Children Bully? There is no single profile that generally describes why children become bullies; the reasons vary from child to child, depending on the situation. Below are some of the reasons that turn children into bullies: 1. Bullied at home Children who are bullied at home by their parents tend to carry the habit around with them. It becomes a custom—a kind of rule for them.  To them, the only way to get what you want is through force, by being aggressive and/or violence because that is how it is done at home. Like everyone else, children also learn from experience, the way they are treated home by their parents is exactly how they will treat others outside. 2. Children with little power at home Children, who have little or no power at all at home tend to find some kind of power somewhere else. Because they are not empowered at home or abused by either their parents or older sibling, they turn to bully to fill this void of powerlessness. Sometimes it also stems from situations where they frequently witness one of their parents bullying the other and they can’t do anything about it. 3. Invisible kids Children who are invisible to their parents may turn into bullies simply because they are often forgotten and not sufficiently cared for. Children need attention and affection from their parents, they need to feel loved and approved. When this is lacking, they fell the need to be approved by others. This question for attention seeking is what turns some of them into bullies. 4. Spoilt kids Sometimes, parents give too much to their children. This is not a bad thing, it is okay to love your children and give them everything they ever want, but this has to go with teaching them responsibility and respect for others. Children who are over spoilt and raised without rules to follow or limitations as to what they should and should not do, feel entitled and all-powerful. These children may feel that they have a right to bully others because they feel superior and see other kids as less important. 5. Kids without empathy Sometimes kids are born and raised by amazing parents, given enough love and attention and all the breathtaking experience that comes with having the perfect parents, yet these kids become bullies. These kids simply lack empathy, and are obsessed with domination, possessiveness and love power. 6. Popular kids Popularity in school sometimes makes some kids aggressive. As they climb the social hierarchy ladder [...]

Whether it is about homework, doing chores, hitting a sibling, stealing a cookie, breaking a vase, children are always likely to lie along the way. When children lie, it is almost always to get out of a situation, it is for self-protection, to deflect blame and get away with something wrong they did. Sometimes though, they tell lies without knowing it, because whether you know it or not, they are likely to believe the things you consider lies to be the truth. When this happens, don’t rush into action, yell or punish them, take your time, figure out why they lied and convince them that it is better to tell the truth always. Why Do Kids Lie? There are a lot of reasons that pushes kids into lying. Most of the time, however, it is to protect themselves from punishment for something wrong they did or to get away for not doing something they were supposed to do. Here are a few common reasons why: 1. Self-Protection Sometimes, kids automatically default to lying when they are afraid that they might get in trouble if the truth about what they did comes out. This is usually motivated by the fact that bad behavior results in harsh punishments from the parents, so to avoid the consequences of their actions, kids resort to lying to get away without punishment. So your reaction to your kids’ behaviors counts a lot in this situation. If your child is fearful of your reaction, he/she is more likely to lie than tell the truth, because as far as he/she is concerned, lying is the only way out or at least the easiest. 2. Wild Imagination Kids probably have the wildest imaginations ever. They may tell you they have a live Unicorn living under the bed that only them can see, or that they didn’t do their homework because they went to the moon with Peter Pan. Perhaps the most amazing part of these situations is the fact that the kids actually believe in what they are saying sometimes. Kids have wonderful imaginations and sometimes they present their fantasies as truths. Don’t discourage your child’s imagination. Instead help your kid learn to recognize that fantasies are great, as long as you don’t present them as truths. With practice and coaching, your kid can eventually learn to tell you stories about his/her fantasies with clear clarifications that they are stories and not truths. 3. They Want to Seem Cool Children may tell lies because they want to look cool either to their parents or friends. A child may tell a lie about his/her math grades to impress his/her parents. A boy may also lie to his friends about his home simply because he wants them to think that his home is cool. In an attempt to fit in with their peers, kids sometimes insist they’ve either endured similar experiences as their friends, or they attempt to impress their friends with their stories, sometimes by exaggerating the truth, or even [...]

Most parents, if not all, have had to deal with this at some point in their children’s lives. Children sometimes hate going to bed on time. Children can come up with all sorts of excuses to stay awake or even get out of bed.  There are a number of factors responsible for children fighting sleep. Here are a few of them: 1. Over Stimulated Kids are little learners. They are always curious, always eager to know everything about the world. They want to play, explore and learn; they do not want to miss anything and going to sleep make them feel like they are missing something. Parents are often eager to fulfill this need for their children, they are ready to answer any question, do all the silly little cute things their kids ask them to. This is a good thing, it is important to stimulate the child. However, over stimulating the child can lead to sleeplessness, and kids are easily stimulated by loud sounds, TV, too many activities, etc. 2. Full Feeding Eating immediately before nap time makes it hard for kids to sleep, especially if they eat high caloric food and caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant, it stimulates the brain and this can stop your kid from sleeping. Refined sugar is also a stimulant both refined sugar and caffeine will make you kid more alert and less inclined to sleep. 3. Sleeping Disorder (Insomnia) Your kid might also be a victim of sleep disorder, say insomnia, which will require clinical help. Insomnia is disruption of sleep circle including difficulty sleeping or staying asleep. It can lead to waking up really early in the morning; it can last for a few days or maybe week. Kids with sleep anxiety can develop insomnia. 4. Sleep Anxiety A good number of kids experience sleep anxiety, they worry about going to sleep sometimes even before bedtime. The fear that they won’t be able to sleep is the main cause, there are no monsters under the bed of course, but they are still afraid to go to sleep and a lot of parents have had to deal with this for a good number of times. Why Kids Need Enough Sleep Sleep is beneficial for your kid for the following reasons 1. Growth Sleep is essential for growth because the growth hormones are secreted during deep sleep. In this regard, it is of utmost importance that kids go to bed on time so that they can have enough sleep and still be able to wake up early to get ready for school. 2. Healthy Heart Kids with sleep disorders have excessive brain arousal during which can trigger the fight or flight response hundreds of times each night. Their blood glucose and cortisol remain elevated at night both are linked to higher level of diabetes, obesity and even heart attack. Experts believe that sleep can protect kids from vascular damage due to circulating stress hormones and arterial wall damaging cholesterol. 3. Weight There is also [...]

Kids start back talk at around age two. With words like NO, they try to get out of things they don’t want to do, or sometimes they simply want to test the limits and see what they can get away with. Back talk is a delicate issue; when kids start doing so, it's always best not to fire back with the same attitude or even worst. Instead, let the tension settle down, then find a way to resolve this issue, let your kid understand that it is not ok to talk to you in that way. Why Kids Back Talk Kids back talk for several reasons. Depending on the situation and environment you find yourself, your kid may be angry, afraid, frustrated, or feeling neglected, perhaps due to changes that took place at home. It could be a change in your work schedule leaving you with less time to spend with him/her, a newborn in the family, etc. Below are a few common reasons: 1. Attention Kids sometimes back talk to get attention from their parents; this is often because they feel neglected or left out. When you are so focused on your job that you spend less time with your kid, you’re almost always too tired to read a bedtime story or even ask about school. This might lead to back talk from your child, because in a way the back talk will give him/her some kind of attention, and that is better than no attention at all. 2. Bad Example at Home Back talk also stems from what kids see and hear around the home. If you as a parent speaks in a certain kind of way to your spouse or even your own kids, chances are they will pick up the habit too. Kids learn by observing and listening, every element in the environment at home has an influencing factor on the child’s behavior. So it is good to watch how you talk your kids and to your spouse around them. 3. External Influence Kids are curious and therefore easily influenced by the things they see other people do or say to each other, most of which they are likely to try. If for example your kid went to visit his friend and while playing a game his friend’s mum walked in and says “boys, you have been on that game long enough, it’s time to do your homework” and his friend replied “yeah, whatever”, there is a high chance that he might use the same line on you some day. Another external influencing factor is Television, the kind of movies and programs your kid watches and the language content of such movies and programs may also influence your kid to engage in back talk. 3. Testing the Limits For some kids, back talk is just another way of testing how much they can get away with. This is very common in kids and how you react to them determines whether this new attitude will continue or [...]

As parents, we want our kids to learn while having fun in what they do. If they enjoy it, then we want them to do well in it. However, many parents of talented children simply don’t know much about the process of becoming professional soccer players. And another good number of parents are afraid that if their children are too focused on their professional soccer career, they will forget about the importance of their education. This is possible and definitely one of the very reasons why your child needs your help. Soccer is the biggest sport in the world; it is played and watched by more people than any other game. This makes it highly competitive and demanding. So how do you your child balance his education and other activities with playing soccer? It is not going to be easy, but it is not impossible, if your child loves the game, and really wants to become a professional soccer player, you can definitely help him. Eight Steps To Helping Your Child Become A Professional Soccer Player The paths to becoming a professional soccer player differ around the world. There is a great difference in the journey of a professional player in Europe and in the United States of America. This journey is not an easy one; it requires time, patience, persistence, and strengths both physically, mentally and emotionally. The first step you need to help your child is to educate yourself about the process of how one becomes a professional soccer player, what kind of stage does he need to participate in what level and at what age? 1. Share Your Child’s Dream This is the most important step you need to help your kid. First, you have to share his dream to become a professional soccer player. Sometimes parents are so possessive and want to make all the decisions for their children, even choose their dreams for them. This could be a huge problem, when it comes to these issues, you have to listen to your child and respect his choices and decisions. Of course, you have to advise him and give your suggestions and recommendations, but at the end of the day, the final decision is his to make. So when your son decides that he wants to become a professional soccer player, you have to accept and respect his decision and support him with his dream. 2. Give It Your Time Soccer is a very demanding sport. It takes a lot of time and practice to become a professional soccer player. If this is the road your kid chooses to take, then you have to invest your all to help him through, and one of the most important thing you can give him is your time. You have to be there, when he wins, when loses, when he breaks his ankle, when he is frustrated, he will need you every step of the way. 3. Encourage Your Child The easiest way you can help your child develop [...]

What would you do if your child walked up to you and said Mum, dad, I have something I would like to tell you, “I am an atheist”. What would be your first reaction? How would you handle this situation? How would you respond to this statement as a parent? Sometimes, things like this just happen, it doesn’t matter whether you are a good God-fearing Christian or a very pious Muslim, it is still very possible that your kids may not always share your beliefs. This will leave you stunned; it is like a punch to the gut. The basic core values and beliefs that you have held for so long have just been utterly rejected by one of the people you love the most in the whole wide world. This is a tough position to be in, especially with all the things you learned from the bible or the Quran. Religion dictates that those who reject faith will go to hell. This is a fact in all the major religions in the world, so what do you do with your child who does just that, this is going to be one tough ride for you. What Not To Do If your child has rejected your faith, do not reject your child. Do not kick your child out of your home, especially if they are dependent on you.  He is still your child. You are still responsible for him, for his upbringing, for loving and adoring and caring for him, no matter what his faith is. Avoid treating him differently than you did before; this includes being embarrassed by his choice. Your child’s decision to be an atheist is not personal. He didn’t make the choice to become an atheist easily, nor did he do it to spite you. He is simply searching for meaning and truth, just like you are and this is the best way he can find to explain the way the world around him works. It makes sense to him. Examine your own emotions closely. If you punish your child, are you doing so out of anger and as an animal-like reaction to pain, or out of love, and a desire to guide? It can be difficult to tell the two apart. Anger seeks vengeance for perceived wrongs. Love seeks correction for the betterment of the loved. Will a bent or a cane really correct a disbelief in God better than a conversation? Can abandonment restore faith? Are screams better than understanding and are threats of damnation and hellfire better than the promise that God loves him? Think carefully and remember that as a Muslim or a Christian, you are an ambassador for God. Your child will see his character in your every action, and if your actions aren’t coming from a place of love, they will push your child so far from God that they will never look back. This crucial moment may be the only chance you have to keep the door open for [...]