What To Do If Your Kid is an Atheist

What would you do if your child walked up to you and said Mum, dad, I have something I would like to tell you, “I am an atheist”. What would be your first reaction? How would you handle this situation? How would you respond to this statement as a parent?

Sometimes, things like this just happen, it doesn’t matter whether you are a good God-fearing Christian or a very pious Muslim, it is still very possible that your kids may not always share your beliefs. This will leave you stunned; it is like a punch to the gut. The basic core values and beliefs that you have held for so long have just been utterly rejected by one of the people you love the most in the whole wide world. This is a tough position to be in, especially with all the things you learned from the bible or the Quran. Religion dictates that those who reject faith will go to hell. This is a fact in all the major religions in the world, so what do you do with your child who does just that, this is going to be one tough ride for you.

What Not To Do

If your child has rejected your faith, do not reject your child. Do not kick your child out of your home, especially if they are dependent on you.  He is still your child. You are still responsible for him, for his upbringing, for loving and adoring and caring for him, no matter what his faith is. Avoid treating him differently than you did before; this includes being embarrassed by his choice.

Your child’s decision to be an atheist is not personal. He didn’t make the choice to become an atheist easily, nor did he do it to spite you. He is simply searching for meaning and truth, just like you are and this is the best way he can find to explain the way the world around him works. It makes sense to him.

Examine your own emotions closely. If you punish your child, are you doing so out of anger and as an animal-like reaction to pain, or out of love, and a desire to guide? It can be difficult to tell the two apart. Anger seeks vengeance for perceived wrongs. Love seeks correction for the betterment of the loved. Will a bent or a cane really correct a disbelief in God better than a conversation? Can abandonment restore faith? Are screams better than understanding and are threats of damnation and hellfire better than the promise that God loves him?

Think carefully and remember that as a Muslim or a Christian, you are an ambassador for God. Your child will see his character in your every action, and if your actions aren’t coming from a place of love, they will push your child so far from God that they will never look back. This crucial moment may be the only chance you have to keep the door open for your child to come into your world of faith and believe in your God. But if you equip him with the tools to find the truth that lies beyond our world of empirical, verifiable matter, he will have a much better chance of finding his faith. It has to be his choice, though. No one ever came to God through Coercion, although many have been driven from him by it. Love your kid, speak with him, understand him, and equip him. That is the path, the open door, and way for him to find God.

What To Do

So now you know what your kid thinks of God, how do you come in? It is going to be a tough battle, but you now know what not to do, so let us see what you can do to help the situation. Remember, a force will not work, don’t go to war with your child over the difference in your beliefs. Here is what you should do to handle your kid’s revelation:

1. Listen

This is really not going to be easy, but yes, you need to listen to your child. Let him speak. Allow him to tell you how he arrived at his atheistic conclusion. Don’t yet offer comment or criticism. Just listen and let him flow; let him give you his reasons. Afterward, give him a hug and reassure him that while you don’t agree that his worldview is the correct one, you still love and cherish him, and you would love to talk about his decision.

And just like that, you have saved your relationship with your child instead of destroying it. And by giving a good example of God’s character, you have also propped open the door for him to come back into your child’s life. Once you have opened communication channels with your child through listening, and have assuaged fears of abandonment and rage, the next step can now begin.

2. Teach Your Child How to Think, Not What to Think

This is a very necessary step to take in this situation. You will never, never change his mind by arguing from the Bible or Quran if he does not believe scriptures to be inspired by God. After all, would you believe someone of a different faith if they attempted to convert you through their own holy book? Instead, teach him how to read the Bible or Quran, rather than your interpretation of what the Bible or Quran means. Teach him how to find the truth for himself, after all, all truth leads to God.

Do this by showing your kid how to interpret each verse. Have him look for who is speaking, who is being spoken to, the historical context, and the context of the verse within the overall Bible or Quran. This will eliminate many of the perceived inconsistencies and cruelties that seem on the surface, to march with the Bible or Quran, this is the source of many conversions to atheism.

3. Don’t Expect Participation in Religious Rituals

As a parent, when your kid says he is an atheist, don’t push him or expect him to take part in all the religious rituals, because he doesn’t believe in those rituals in the first place. It doesn’t’ make any sense and is only going to come off as ignorant and annoying. Aside from that, it unnecessarily creates a point of contention. So, let it be. If you still have to do your religious duties, go ahead, but don’t make it so apparent that you are hoping he will join in. he will not, and even if he did, it would be an empty gesture.

4. Don’t be too Bent on Saving His Soul

If all you want is for your kid to live a happy life, one that only comes with spiritual fulfillment, well then you have some work to do, but you need a better plan than the traditional “you will burn in hell for your decision”. Religion teaches us that the purpose of life is to serve God and live by his commandments and will. Well, an atheist chooses to differ; an atheist can find pleasure, beauty, and purpose in life. For some, it could be material things like money, video games, science or good food. Or maybe it is the more abstract things like philosophy or helping others. If this is the path that your child chooses, you have to respect his decision and accept it. You can try to help him by providing him with all the support he needs to make a more informed decision, but you can’t impose your own beliefs on him. Even religion makes it clear that you cannot force anyone to believe, you can only give them the facts and evidence, it is up to them to decide whether to believe or to take a completely different path of their own.

Conclusion

So the question remains, is really that bad for your child to be an atheist? Well, that depends on where you come from and what you believe in. Atheism is really growing, a lot of people are becoming atheists, which means it is possible that one of your kids might wake up one day and tell you he or she is one. If you as a parent are an atheist, then this is to be expected and is most welcome. But if you are a Christian or a Muslim, then you feel duty bound to do something about it and possibly change your child’s mind and draw him or her into your own religious beliefs. In doing this, remember the steps above, do not abandon, disown, yell or punish your child for choosing not to believe in the religion you lived your whole life believing. Take your time to listen to your child, and when he or she is done giving you the reasons for his or her decision, then help them find their way back to your belief by not forcing or imposing your religion on them, but by giving them all the tools they need, to make a conscious and an informed decision.