What To Do When Your Child is Always Moody

Some kids can be quite tough to deal with; they have so much negative energy that it is really hard to get them in a good mood. A child with an extreme negative temperament most of the time seems to be in a bad mood. Sometimes you have that child who is always complaining constantly about something, always unhappy and never miss the opportunity to display an unpleasant behavior.

This is frustrating for parents, though sometimes it is easy for parents and their children to adopt a pattern of consistency in their interactions that is negative. However, it is possible for this kind of behavior to be transformed into a more positive one.

It is good to start with a compromise; you as a parent need a strategy to cope with this situation, something that will work for you and your child. You have to help him burn the negative energy out, guide him through and help him transform into a more positive and happy child.

Why is Your Child Always Grumpy?

Every problem has a root cause. In this case, however, different reasons could be responsible for your child’s moody behavior. Like always, find the root cause is half the solution. We will look at a few reasons that could be responsible for your child’s moody behavior.

Here are a few common reasons:

1. Difficult children

Mostly when this happens, parents are quick to blame themselves, thinking that they are responsible for this undesirable behavior. They start asking questions like, where did I go wrong? What have I done wrong in raising this child? Have I been mean to him? Did I treat him so bad that he can’t smile anymore? It is good to ask these questions because you could be responsible, but this Is not always the case. Some kids are naturally born with difficult temperaments and personalities, and you the parent are not responsible for their moody or negative behavior whatsoever. These children are harder to raise and they often provoke the worst parenting, it is just the natural result of being impossible to deal with. Despite all this, you as a loving cannot always blame yourself for your child’s negative personality.

2. Attention Seeking

Kids love attention, they crave for it and they long for it from their parents the most. When this attention is not given to them, they will try to get it in their own way. This is most common where there are two or more kids, and one feels left out because he believes that his parents give more attention to his siblings that to him. So it becomes a war over who gets the most attention and obviously the one who feels neglected and left out will turn out to be grumpy and moody. This could also happen where parents are always too busy with work and other things that they hardly have time for their kids.  And the disconnection and distance between these parents and their kids grow wider, they start to realize new undesirable behaviors in their children it could even be violent and disrespectful. And a quick solution to this would be to develop a closer personal relationship with your child.

3. The Misunderstood Child

Like adults, children also have feelings and issues. This is most common where parents don’t listen to their children enough. If and whenever your child brings up something or gives his opinion about things that concern him and he is not listened to, he will feel unimportant, powerless and misunderstood. Children need to feel that they have a say in things that concern them and their ways of lives, they need to feel that they have some kind of power and control over things in their own lives. When you deny them this little power and control, they feel powerless and this will take away their self-esteem and self-confidence. This can result in them resigning from keeping to themselves and becoming moody and grumpy. The child, who no one listens to, whose feelings no one cares about, is bound to be grumpy.

4. Home culture vs school/environment

In bringing up the child, three places play key roles, the home, the school and the environment. So if the general mood at home or the culture at home involves shouting, fighting, getting physical punishment all the time, this will have a bearing on the child. The same goes if the culture at the school is similar. Most children hate being yell at or being embarrassed every time they do something wrong. This will turn them into a rebel who doesn’t care much about right or wrong because at the end of the day they will just get punished or embarrassed which they have grown used to. Eventually, they become resigned to their own little world in which they believe no one understands or care about them, so they easily get angry and violent. The things that happen at the home is the first things they pick up as they grow. So, make sure violence and yelling is minimized at the home and that your children don’t get physically punished when they do something wrong. Find a better way to resolve their issues.

5. Something else is responsible

It is possible that all of the above reasons are not the cause of your child’s grumpy behavior. It could be that he is just upset about something else. It could be because he gets bullied in school and can’t tell you about, he feels helpless and hates going to school so he will probably pick a fight with you every time you wake him up to go to school. He could also be angry about not having the latest toy which most of his friends in school has. These and a lot of other reasons could be responsible. It is up to you to fish out the exact reason responsible for your child’s moody behavior and fix it.

How to Help Your Moody Child

The above are some of the possible causes of your child’s moody behavior. Now we will see how can help your child work his issues out instead of taking it out on everyone in the family. The following steps will be helpful in resolving his moody issues.

1. Find the root cause

As we have discussed above, knowing the root cause is half the solution. So the first thing you need to do as a parent, to figure out why you child is always moody. Make him talk to you, let him vent out his anger and frustration, then you will be able to know where to pick it up from and eventually you will reach a solution.

2. Be calm

When your child is misbehaving, throwing a tantrum, yelling or complaining about something, be calm, don’t over react, take your time and listen carefully. Over reacting will only escalate the situation and will not lead to any solution. You will do good to calm down, and try to talk to him reasonably. Like adults, kids will understand reasons if you come down to their level and deliberate on the issue with them.

3. Listen to them

This is very key in resolving virtually any issue with your child. To root out the issue, you have to listen to your child. Let him know that you care about his feelings. Also remember not to judge, just listen and let him spit it all out. You also need to figure out what triggers the negative moods, and at what time is the behavior most likely to happen. Does it happen in the morning, after school etc. figuring out all this will make it easier for you to come up with a solution.

4. Ignore some bad moods

Don’t ignore your child when he is in a bad mood, ignore the mood. When you don’t react to his negativity, you take one step forward in extinguishing negative behaviors. an attitude that conveys acceptance of your child, negative temperament and all, will keep your relationship intact and allw you to keep influencing positive development.

5. Encourage positive behavior

Encourage your child to act positively even when he is not thrilled about it. Remember, encourage him and teach him, but don’t force it, because asking him to suddenly develop a cheerful positive attitude is a tall order and is not possible. You can help them develop over time the change cannot happen overnight. Guide and encourage your child to make amends if they have damaged a social relationship with their negative attitude. Help him develop hobbies and new interests, show him affection, spend time with him and connect with him and finally, be a role model at home.