What To Do When Your Kid Does Not Want To Do Chores

Chores are not fun to do generally in the viewpoint or any kid. Even for parents, at the time you were the age of your kid, am sure you did not find it fun either. It can really be challenging at times when your kid just refuses to do the chores. Some parents want their house clean but do not have cooperative kids that help out at home. If you are a parent that wants to get their kids to help out at home then follow some of the steps below.

1. Set your goals

• They need to clean up the messes the help create: make it clear that they will clean after themselves. When you little kid uses the bathroom, she needs to help clean the bathroom. She wears clothes too, then she needs to wash them.
• Let them work for the things they have: teach them the importance of taking care of the things we have. This can mean cleaning toys, rooms, making the bed etc.
• A family is a unit that helps each other: emphasize the importance of helping others do work in the family. Your principle must be that, when you help others do work, they will do the same for you in return. It makes helping out rewarding. So if your brothers supposed to wash clothes and you send your other kid to help out, they are supposed to do it because it is rewarding.

2. Empathize

Do not act like an outsider to your kid and try to control your emotions especially when it hurts that your kids refuse to do any chores. Little kids really do not want to do chores but would prefer to play or do something else more fun. So, when they say that they do not want to do the chores, get down on your knees and keep eye contact and speak to them like you understand what they are feeling and how you would also react the same way. Your kids need to feel like you care about them and can understand from their point of view. If it sounds fake, just note that it won’t work. After you have empathized with him or her, you add the ‘but’ along with the exact reason the chores need to be done. Example, “But you really need to do your laundry or you won’t have any clean clothes for tomorrow” and follow this up with the exact request like, “please go start the washer”. If your kid refuses, do not give up; just keep on repeating the same request over and over but not yelling instead, in a cool and calm voice. This usually annoys them and they will storm off to go do the chore. Do not worry about their mood; the most important thing is for them to do the chore.

3. Assist

If your kid refuses to do the chore, then you can offer to help them start it. They might just be looking for a little push or motivation to get up and start. Most of the time when you offer to help them out, they accept.

4. Principle

Kids can really be so annoying that they piss you off and you just decide to forget about ever telling them to do the chores. When kid notice that by pissing their parents off with the phrase “just a minute”, they would forget that they ever asked them to do the chores anyway. You need to keep to your principle and do not forget to remind them of their chores. If your kid tells you he will do his chores in 5 minutes, tell him “ok, am setting the timer for five minutes. When it goes off, it’s time to do your chores”. And let your answer always be yes to a chore. Whenever your kid ask you if they have to do chores, simply tell them a definite yes with no further explanation. This tells them that you mean business. You really have to be aware of how your child is using his time. If he’s not doing his chores because he’s playing on the computer or reading a comic book, you’ve got to stop that pattern. The choice shouldn’t be “excitement or chore.” The choice should be “boredom or chore.” What I mean is that kids have to understand that they can’t go listen to music in their rooms or just hang out until their chores are finished.

5. Flexibility

Learn to exercise flexibility. If your kids want to do their chores at certain times which is most comfortable with them, am open to it. In fact, giving them a choice as to when to do a chore actually gives the child more investment in the chore because they have a say in the process. It is more like giving your kid responsibility. Make sure to get a firm commitment.

6. Entertain questions

Kids can be so unwillingly to work because they might feel that it is a punishment. This prompts them to ask all kinds of question and when they do ask why they have to do the chores?, your response should not ‘because I said so’. Try as much as possible not to respond to you kids harshly. By answering them in such a manner, you will make them scared of raising questions because they will be trained to follow your authority blindly. This might be good for you at home but in the long run and for your kids when they go outside the home, will be bad. You need to train up your kids to think independently and challenge the status quo. By keeping quiet all the time, they will end up living and unhappy and unsuccessful life because they probably would not do things they want because they could not stand up for themselves. You need to give your kid the real reason why you give them chores at home. This should be genuine and straight to the point and you could also ask them to give you a reason why they should not.

Sometimes, your kid may be really smart and can surprise you with a good reason why they should not but this should tell you that your kid is a good advocate for themselves.

7. Be fair

This step is for those that have more than one kid. Parents at times make the mistake of treating the kids differently without knowing the effects of doing so. Try to set a structure at home which will accommodate all the kids. All the kids at home must be give responsibilities and try to make sure that they are all doing the work at similar times. So your daughter could be washing the dishes while your other kids do the laundry. By doing this one of them would not feel as though the other is enjoying and he or she is missing out.

In conclusion, parents generally get caught in a nagging cycle out of habit; we get stuck in repetitive behaviors just like kids do. Personally, I think giving a general reminder is fine. It’s perfectly okay for parents to say, “All right guys, let’s get to work now.” You would wish that they just started their chores and stayed on it but instead, they probably might stop doing them at all. If you feel like you are constantly on top of your kids, trying to get them to do their chores, above are some effective things you can always do to give yourself and a break.