What To Do When Your Kid is Rude

Your child could express rude behaviors in all forms of ways. Whether your child rolls her eyes and says, “Whatever Mom!” or when you tell her to start her homework or she pretends she can’t hear you when you tell her to turn off her electronics, is on the mild end of the disrespect spectrum.

On the more serious end of the disrespectful behavior spectrum, you’ll find behaviors such as calling people names, disregarding the rules, or physical aggression.

No matter what your child does, it’s important to address disrespect before it gets worse. A 2015 study conducted by researchers at the University of Virginia discovered that disrespectful children are likely to become rude adults in the future.

You might want to ignore the signs of your kid’s attitude by saying that ‘kids will be kids’ or thinking that it just a phase that he or she will grow out off. Then you will be doing a grave mistake. Your child’s disrespect is a sign that something needs to be done and fast so that your kid is able to treat others with respect. Whatever the cause of his or her bad attitude, your kid needs help to manage his anger, frustration and to communicate effectively his feelings.

To deal with the situation quickly and effectively, follow the steps below:

1. Ignore Attention Seeking Behavior

It may seem like ignoring minor disrespect is the same as allowing your child to get away with it. There is always that urge to do something at all times. But selective ignoring can be one of the most effective negative consequences. Kids have various ways of seeking attention and one of them is acting unruly so that parents can talk about him or focus on him.

Ignoring doesn’t mean letting your child get away with being mean. Instead, it’s about refusing to let your child’s disrespect slow you down you from the task-at-hand, which is to address his or her misbehavior.

If you tell your child to clean his room, and he rolls his eyes, don’t engage begin to argue with him based on his argument which will just be long and end nowhere. Each minute you spend in a power struggle is 60 seconds he’ll put off cleaning his room. Instead, give him a warning about what will happen if he doesn’t get to work.

If eye rolling has become a common problem, address the issue at a later time when both of you are calm. Say something like, “Earlier today when I told you to clean your room, you rolled your eyes. Are you aware that you do that when you’re mad?”. By doing this, you are putting your kid in a position where he or she is aware of their actions and that they choose to act that way. However, you have chosen not to show it or acted like it had not affected you at all.

Talk about the potential consequences of disrespect. Ask, “Do you think that you roll your eyes when your friend says something you don’t like?” communication is a powerful tool that you can use to make your child come to terms. Engage in a discussion about how other people feel when they witness rude behavior. Try to make them see things from another perspective.

Explain the natural consequences for disrespectful behavior such as, “Disrespectful children often have trouble making friends.” Or that, they might have issues with spouse or workers when they grow up.

2. Privileges

Grandma’s rule of discipline is a simple but effective way to get your child to comply.

Instead of telling your child what he can’t do, tell him how he can earn a privilege. This will motivate him to act well. If you reward for good behavior, you are teaching him or her that being good pays. But if you only punish, then you might just be teaching him the consequences and not being fair.

So rather than saying, “If you don’t pick up right now, you won’t be able to play outside,” say, “You can play outside as soon as you are finished picking up your toys.” Then, walk away and leave it up to your child to pull himself together. Also, try to project the negative in a positive light.

You also might try saying things like, “When you lower your voice and talk calmly, I’ll answer you,” or “I’ll play with you when you stop being bossy.” Teach your child that polite and kind behavior yields positive results.

3. Provide a Single Warning

Try not to nag a lot or complain because it gets you nowhere. Be affirmative and direct with your warnings like you can use an “if…then,” statement to warn your child what will happen if the behavior doesn’t change. Say, “If you don’t stop interrupting when I’m on the phone then you’ll need to go to your room.”

This will make your child think of his action and to change his behavior around. Just make sure you’re fully prepared to follow through with a negative consequence if he doesn’t comply. Because, if you do not follow through, your kid will not take your warning serious anymore.

Avoid repeating your warnings over and over again. Otherwise, you’ll be training your child not to listen. Acting swiftly is the trick. Repeating yourself will just be like a dog that does bark but doesn’t bite. Obviously, nobody is going to take the dog seriously.

4. Use Restitution

Sometimes kids get the notion that they can get away with their bad behavior by just saying sorry. If your child or teen behaves in a disrespectful manner, restitution may be necessary to discourage it from happening again. Restitution is about doing something kind for the victim or doing something to make payment for the damage that has been done.

You can easily make your kiddo certain restitution acts at home. For instance, if your child hits her brother, make her do her brother’s chores for the day. Or, if your teen breaks something out of anger make her fix it or pay to get it fixed.

Teach your child that saying, “I’m sorry,” doesn’t always fix things. Restitution will help her take responsibility for her disrespectful behavior while also working to repair the relationship.

In conclusion, your kids might not automatically change their behavior. Hence, they might be taking two steps forward and one step back at times but just keep on being consistent. Consistent discipline is the key to helping him make progress over the long term. Kids at an early age can easily change their attitude because they might not really know what they are doing is wrong. As a parent, you can help teach them what is wrong or right. Try not to let your emotion affect your judgment or lead you to act in a manner that you are not proud of. Continue to be the example, so that they will learn from your action and do the same. Raise up a good kid that will respect his family, and friends including co-workers in the future. And overall raise a good citizen.