What To Do When Your Kid Lacks Confidence

Confidence in children gives them the ability to go for more or reach their best selves. They are also able to face challenges and can do incredible things when they are confident. So, it is one of the best attributes a child should have. If your kid lacks confidence, then you need to do something about it in order to help your kid be the best he or she can be.

There are so many things that may cause your kid to be less confident of him or herself and before taking any step to help him, you need to know the cause of his lack of confidence and how to help him to get more confidence. Some of the causes can be based on the following:

1. Disapproving Authority Figures

Growing up thinking that your actions were not good enough or never appreciated can lead to low self-esteem. If parents continue to criticize no matter what your kid does then it would give the kid the impression that his or her efforts are worthless and that can bear a negative consequence on his mind leading to low self-esteem. It becomes difficult for your kid to feel confident and comfortable in their own skin later.

2. Uninvolved/Preoccupied Caregivers

Kids are attention seekers and if you do not pay them any attention, they believe that their achievements are not noticeable and with time they will lose confidence and start to close up. This scenario often results in feeling forgotten, unacknowledged, and unimportant later. If they feel that they do not belong, they will feel uncategorized as a result of their belief that they are supposed to feel sorry for their existence.  They would just feel that no one cares and such they would feel the urge or desire to do anything.

3. Authority Figures in Conflict

If a child is raised in a home where his or her parents or care giver fight, they absorb the negative emotions and hateful atmosphere. This becomes very negative because it is a disorganized, overwhelming and scary atmosphere where the kids fear to makes any move because they do not want to be faced with mommy or daddy’s wrath. When a child is exposed to excessive conflicts between authority heads, they can feel like they contributed to the issue. This feeling of being the cause of everything can taint their mind and they can even carry it on to adulthood.

4. Bullying (with Unsupportive Parents)

This can be very detrimental to a kid’s self-esteem when he or she does not have anyone to help them from bullies. Imagine a kid who already felt unsafe at home and now is being bullied at the school, there sure is to be a very negative lasting effect. Later on in life, the kid would feel like anyone trying to be his or her friend is trying to do him a favour because he or she believes that they are not capable of being loved or don’t feel worthy.

5. Over-Supportive Parents

If parents ARE overly and indiscriminately supportive, it can leave them feeling unprepared for the cruel world. So, a child would not know how to handle life situations and will instead shy away from anything.

If you have identified the cause of your kid’s lack of confidence, here are a few steps you could take to get rid of such low self-esteem.

1. Love your child

The most important thing you can do or the first step to take is to love your child. It seems obvious and simple or you might feel that you already do but always show your kid love. Love needs to be shown, make your kid feel accepted and loved starting with the family and other groups of friends, schoolmates and other people in his school and in the community. No one is perfect and sometimes you might make a parenting mistake, so make sure when you do, hug your child and tell him sorry and that you love him. Show casing of love sets a strong foundation for confidence.

2. Shower your kids with praises

Always give them positive feedback because they are kids. Especially for the young ones, measure their achievements by what you think but not critically and be realistic in your praise. For instance, if your kid fails at something, praise the effort but do not praise the results and encourage them to do better or to try something else. You can encourage them to try harder and that you will be there to support them to the end.

3. Help your kid set realistic goals

The goals should also be reasonable and achievable. By doing this, they will avoid feeling bad and discouraged when they fail.

4. Be a role-model

Every parent is a model for their kids and no matter you do, kids model you. If you want their confidence to boost up then practice what you preach. You how to love him or herself. You can love yourself as well before you teach your kid how to love. You can reward and praise yourself when you do well or even make an effort, perhaps running in a marathon, getting a promotion at work etc. Learn to celebrate your successes with your children so that they know that efforts are rewarding and that they will be praise when they do something good too. This will motivate them to try and be like you.

5. Teach them to be resilient

Your kids need to know that in life, no one succeeds all the time and that there will setbacks, failures, criticisms and pain along the way. However, they should not succumb to these challenges. Teach your kids not to give up, keep telling them to try again. They need your support because they can’t do it alone. So if your kid fails a subject at school or does poorly in a test, you can discuss with him on the steps he can take to do better next time.

6. Have a play time with your child

It should be a me-and-you time where you can let them initiate the play. You could learn a lot about each other and it tells them that they are valuable to you. It is quite known that kids learn by playing and it could be a fun time for the both of you. Let your kid take the lead in these games but you could add a little twist to the games to keep them from getting bored.

7. Make your kid feel special

Do not let yourself be distracted by work or other issues in your mind because your kid will notice. Your child loses the value of your being with him/her, concluding that they are not important.  By treating them like they are the center of the world, you give them all the attention and this makes them feel special and unique.

8. Addressing your child by name

Especially when accompanied by eye contact and touch, his exudes a “you’re special” message. A name is a person, the self, no matter their size. Starting a conversation using someone’s name helps to open doors and break barriers. Children learn to associate how you use their name with the message you have and the behavior you expect. Parents often use a child’s nickname or first name only in casual dialogue. Most appropriately, use their names in whatever dialogue because once you select when to use it, your kid will determine that these are the only moments you use the names in such manner. For instance, if you use your kids full name when you are mad at him and nickname when they do a good deed, then you are giving them a bad impression.

9. No comparisons

Finally, do not compare your kid to other kid around them. Your kid is probably already measuring himself by how he perceives others value him. If you want to raise a confident child, be sure your child believes you value her because of who she is, not how she performs. Give your kid a wall of fame. This will include anything that he or she has achieved no matter how small to tell them that they are good at anything no matter how small. Do help them to express themselves and not to keep emotions within. Show your kid that your care and understand their feelings so that they open up to you.

In conclusion, self-confidence comes from a sense of competence. A confident child needs a positive and realistic perception of his or her abilities. This arises out of achievements, great and small. Your encouraging words can help develop this confidence, especially when you refer to your child’s specific efforts or abilities. You don’t need a degree in psychology to raise a confident child. Much of parenting is easy and fun. Hold your baby a lot, respond sensitively to her needs, enjoy your baby. Then sit back and enjoy the person whose self-esteem is developing naturally.